You're aging when.........

The following was taken from the Dallas Morning News 'Viewpoints' by Stanley Marcus. He states : A friend sent me a single-spaced typed sheet with the subject, Aging is when...Unfortunately, the author wasn't identified, but it started by saying, "Aging is when everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work." The piece went on: Aging is when.............

The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.

Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

You get winded playing chess.

Your children begin to look middle-aged.

You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.

You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.

Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.

You know all the answers, but noboby asks you the questions.

You look forward to a dull evening.

Your favorite part of the newspaper is "Twenty-Five Years Ago Today."

Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.

You are 17 around the neck, 44 around the waist and 96 around the golf course.

You stop looking forward to your next birthday.

Dialing long distance wears you out.

You are startled the first time you are addressed as an 'old-timer.'

You burn the midnight oil until 9 p.m.

Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.

You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercised.

Stanley Marcus adds further observations: Aging is when.............

Tying your shoelaces leaves you breathless.

Your reminiscences aren't as interesting to your listeners as they are to you.

Your memory fails to recall the name of the gorgeous blonde you were madly in love with when you were 21.

The big house in which you grew up has shrunk in apparent size 70 years later.

Your friends keep telling you how great you are looking.

You sleep less and nap more.

Your realize that the good old days actually weren't as good as they were cracked up to be.

Passers-by stop to pick up objects you have dropped.

You allow yourself to luxuriate in casual attire at improper times.

You slump instead of standing erect.

Stanley Marcus ended with: 'Aging is when you have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.'

Those observations are fine, but I still think the best antidote to aging is to stay active and interested in the world around.

If you have any desire to live to be 100 plus, you had better ignore this whole column.